bigcoolguy.com

We drove from Canberra to Sydney and back again today. I did 3 out of the 4 legs and found myself continually astounded by the number of bad drivers I encountered. It was very frustrating. Therefore, I'm going to give the world some driving tips.

However, first let me share a couple of things...

• These days my attitude towards driving is similar to my attitude towards business travel. It is necessary but I don't enjoy it anymore. In fact, most of my reason for not enjoying driving is the sheer number of idiots on the road.
• When driving long distances I use cruise control. This means I'm not concerned with the speed I'm doing and can concentrate more on the other important driving tasks. It also means that I drive at a constant speed. I set my speed according to the speed shown on my car's climate control system when it is in diagnostic mode. Although the speedometer reads significantly higher, we've verified on several occasions that the speedometer shows an inflated speed and that the speed shown by the diagnostic system is more correct.

Now for the tips:

• When I'm in the fast lane overtaking, there's no point flying up behind me in an aggressive manner and trying to make me move in front of a car I'm passing before I'm ready. Before pulling out I will have checked that I won't annoy anyone doing a reasonable speed. If I wind up annoying you then you're doing an unreasonable speed. Wake up to yourself before you kill someone.
• When I finish overtaking one or more cars I like to leave enough room in front of them before moving back into the slow lane to avoid scaring the crap out of the driver of the last car I passed. I have this way of deciding if I'm leaving enough room: I make sure that I can see both of the headlights of the front car I've passed before moving in front of that car. This means I usually don't need to turn my head to check. It also means that I allow more room for really big, dangerous things like trucks. If you're the person I saw today driving the very small car that pulled in front of a truck leaving only about 1 car length then I have a message for you: if you brake suddenly then you're dead...
• If I pull out to overtake you, I pull back in behind you, I pull out again, I pull back in behind you, rinse and repeat... it does not mean I'm an irresponsible mad lane changing nutter. It is because you're not driving at a constant speed. You're driving slowly when I'm behind you and speeding up when I pull out to overtake. This should cause you to think about your speed. Have you considered using cruise control? Have you considered letting someone else do the driving? How about catching a bus?
• If you've been sitting 20m behind me in the fast lane for the last 2 or 3 minutes, while I've been sitting in the slow lane, and then we come across a slower vehicle then you shouldn't decide that now is the time to overtake both of us. You should have passed me fairly quickly after moving out from behind me and into the overtaking lane. Oh, you didn't pull out from behind me but have been in that lane for the last 20 minutes and you think you own it? OK, that's different: you're an idiot.
• If I pull out to overtake you then it is because, while doing a constant speed, I have caught up to you and now wish to pass you. I will do it fairly quickly unless you make things fairly difficult by continuously varying your speed. If I'm out there for so long that you come up behind another car that you need to overtake then you're doing something wrong. When I pulled out I thought about exactly that and applied due consideration. Therefore, I reserve the right to accelerate past you so that I don't have to sit behind you when you decide to sit next to that truck for 5 minutes. Note that if I think I have made an error of judgement, or perhaps you have only annoyed me once by varying your speed, I might also pull back to give you room to go first. I'm a reasonable person.
• Just because I no longer enjoy driving that doesn't mean that I think you're not allowed to. However, if you're a motor racing fan you should remember that compared to your favourite driver you're probably crap and that you're driving on a road that you're sharing with other people.
• Finally, if you're passing me and you notice me shaking my head at you, it isn't because I have a neck twitch or I'm in violent disagreement with something my wife has said. It is because you've done something stupid and you are an idiot. You've possibly put my family's life at risk. Grow up.

Right, now that you have some clues on driving, how about being less annoying next time?

I caught the tail end of Sophie B. Hawkins' live performance on 26 July 2004 at the House of Blues in Chicago, where she was supporting Chris Isaak. I was very impressed by her passionate performance featuring some rather large vocals - not Joplin-esque screaming but big nevertheless. So I bought Wilderness, which was her current album at that time.

This album turns out to be a very good album. However, much of it is quite poppy and isn't the rocker that I expected when I bought it. Many of the tracks aren't really my thing - there's a little too much loopy drum programming for my liking. Still the performances are all very nice especially considering that Hawkins appears to play most of the instruments on many of the tracks.

For me the highlights of the album are Sweetsexywoman and the closing 3 tracks Angel of Darkness, You Make Me High, Feelin' Good. These are the tracks that are more reminiscent of the live performance I saw. They're a bit jazzier and tend to be a bit heavier than the rest of the album. I really like these songs.

However, the album closes with an "Infinite Space Mix" bonus version of an earlier track Soul Lover. This track doesn't do much for me and I feel it detracts from the nice closure that Feelin' Good gives the album. I think I'll delete this "bonus" track from my various media players. I often do this with classic albums that have no need for a "bonus" - sometimes I put the bonus tracks into a separate "album" in case I do actually want to listen to them.

I think I'd like to hear more of Sophie B. Hawkins... though I'm not sure which albums to look at...

Today was Father's Day. When Mel and Sebastian gave me a card and gifts this morning, I commented that I hadn't really thought about this Father's Day as being about me. For the past 7 months since Sebastian was born, life has been a mad scramble to try to get things done and get enough sleep. That doesn't seem to be what being a parent is about... or maybe it is?

The card included a failed attempt of ours to get Sebastian's handprint for another project. Mel cut it out and had managed to sketch it into an image of an elk. The gifts included some obligatory socks and undies, which Sebastian apparently insisted that Mel buy for me, and a beautiful photo book that I'll treasure forever.

On the day that Sebastian was born, 7 weeks early, I was terrified that we would lose him. Every time I went somewhere in the hospital I would drop by the NICU to make sure he was OK. His crib was visible from the doorway at the entrance to the NICU so I didn't even have to wash my hands and go right in to check on him - a quick glance from the doorway would reassure me. In the late afternoon I went home to feed the dogs and to organise a few things. In the evening I returned to the hospital and took a detour past the NICU on my way to see Mel. I stood in the doorway of the NICU and my heart hit the floor - Sebastian's crib was empty. However, the monitor above it was still doing all of the right things. I squinted to try and get a better view into the semi-darkness but the crib was still empty... and the monitor was still ticking away. I took a step forward to get a wider view and found that they had pushed Mel's bed up into the NICU. Mel was holding Sebastian for the first time and was smiling the most beautiful smile I had ever seen.

Sometimes music is about the bits you don't play and the space that you leave, allowing the combination to sound much more impressive than any of the parts. Unless you're used to this you can be dissatisfied because all you can hear is your own limitations. In a similar way, sometimes a celebration is about putting together the pieces that you didn't realise were painting a bigger picture because you were busy worrying about the details. Sometimes you need someone to put those pieces together for you and show you the wider view. This isn't just an endless repetition of some crazy day that we manage to scramble through and keep on coming out the other end of. We've come a long way in the past 7 months and it is simply amazing...

Mel, thanks for showing me "amazing"... and thanks for the socks and undies, I'll wear them with pride.

A short conversation this morning while we were paraphrasing some of the things Sebastian "says":

Hey Elvis!
Yeah, Helga?
Elk needs food badly...